IF YOU SUSPECT DRUG USE ...

If you are concerned that your child has been using alcohol or another drug, be open and honest about your feelings. It is not unusual to feel overwhelmed by confusion, guilt, anger or fear. Try not to let your feelings get in the way. Cool down and think about the best way to respond. Don't confront teens when they are "high" or drunk.

Choose the right time:
Try to talk privately with your child during a quiet part of the day when you won't be interrupted.

Focus on the behaviours:
Begin by telling your child that something is on your mind, which concerns you. Mention your specific concerns (e.g. changes in behaviour or objects you have found). Avoid name calling, scolding, blaming and threatening. When a serious problem arises, it is important to try to continue respecting each other.

Don't be afraid to set standards and follow through:
Take a firm stand regarding the use of alcohol and other drugs. Often our children wish that we would say "NO" clearly and firmly. Set rules concerning behaviour in your home, and follow through with consequences that are reasonable.

For the time being, don't ask "why":
If your child admits to using drugs, it will not help to ask why. It is very possible that your child does not know; they may have many reasons. If your child does not admit to drug use, don't push the issue for now. By having the discussion, you have already let the child know that you are concerned and that you are willing to talk about drugs. However, you can use this time to make sure your values and the house rules are clear.

Ask for help:
Don't be afraid to get outside help. There are many confidential resources available to parents. If you continue to notice signs, which bother you, you may have to confront your child with your concerns and be persistent in finding a solution to this problem. Let your child know that you are doing this because you do care.

What to do if your son/daughter comes home drunk or stoned

What to do That Night:

• DO Try to remain cool and calm.
• DO Talk to them and try to find out what they have taken.
• DO Call a doctor or take them to the nearest hospital emergency department if they are seriously ill.
• DO Tell them, "We will talk about this tomorrow".
• DO Check them often during the night if they are in a condition to be sent to bed.
• DO NOT Shout at, accuse or hurt them in any way. All this is quite useless and harmful when they are in this condition.

What to do the Next Day:

• DO Talk to them immediately.
• DO Have them assume responsibility for their actions including clean up.
• DO Let them know you will not accept their behaviour and you will be watching them closely in the future.
• DO Set up guidelines for behaviour with your child as well as curfews for going out with friends. Let them know you expect them to follow these guidelines.
• DO Talk with them about other activities and choices, so they can avoid taking drugs.
• DO NOT Have your discussion with them if you are too angry to talk about it without losing your temper. Wait until you can discuss it calmly. No one gains anything from angry words.